I had someone come over to babysit a few days ago. Well, house sit really. James has class on Wednesday night, which is also the night our ward has young womens. I'm the secretary, so I don't have to be there every week, but I like to go a few times a month, to keep up with the girls and their activities. So those nights I get a babysitter, usually a young couple without kids. I have my kids in bed already so it's a boring night.
I'm sure there was an easier way to set all this up, but blah. There is the situation.
Anyway, I had someone new come over this week. This couple has been married maybe a year or so, and is pregnant (twins!) with their first- children, I guess. :) I was having a good night- dinner wasn't too traumatic, meaning the kids ate it without too much complaining. And they went to bed well and the house was looking pretty nice and clean. This couple was super nice about coming over- I usually feel bad about disrupting someone's night- but they were insistent that they didn't want anything in return except being able to watch TV. Because they don't have one.
I was chatting with them afterward, and it made me remember those years when James and I were first married. Going without and not having much. We slept on an air mattress for the first few months. Rented a couch from Wymount so we would have furniture. Brighton's bassinet was a box lid. :)
Lately I've been feeling like the list of things that I want to have upgraded- our wobbly table that we're outgrowing, our pots and pans that are scraped and have loose handles, things that we have used hard and are wearing out- that list is getting longer and longer. Having been in school pretty much the whole eight years we've been married, I always thought things would be better after we were finished with school. Not better, that's not what I mean. But maybe easier? I'd be able to start checking things off of my list. Not be using storage boxes as night stands. And as the end of school keeps coming (mid April) and no strong job possibilities are apparent, I'm thinking that my dream of so many years is not going to happen.
So I freaked out for a few weeks. I'm better now. :) No one really knows when I freak out except James and my sister. And maybe Brighton, who I lectured on the cost of envelopes when she wanted to use some to play with. That was a low point. :)
Anyways, back to the point. When I was talking to this young couple, I started to see my apartment as what it must look like to them. Two nice couches, nice entertainment system, double monitor computer, big ol' printer (more on that later), pictures on the walls, etc. I felt like telling them, "No, we're really poor! It just looks like we have a lot!" Most of our furniture has been given to us, or somebody was junking it and we sanded it down and fixed it up. Things like the computer, printer, entertainment system we saved up for. Or James worked an extra job or we sold something. But I realized that over the years, we've accumulated some nice things. Not everything on my list, and we take advantage of hand-me-downs and craigslist, but we have a lot. A lot for me to be grateful for. My list can wait.
I'm not a very good writer, but I've been thinking about this a lot and wanted to vocalize it. So thank you, poor young couple. :) You've helped me have a better perspective, and to appreciate what I have.
5 comments:
You may not think you're a writer, but I think this post is great. It reminds me to be grateful for all the things I have right now and not put too much stock in those "hoped for" things that may or may not come. Thanks for sharing!
I've experienced something that I feel is a bit similar to this lately. We've started looking into buying a house. As we've looked around and seen what is actually in our price range, I've felt myself getting a little grumpy about the things that I can't have. I have, (on several occasions, I'm ashamed to admit), have to remind myself where we've come from in the last couple of years. And, then I look at the home we're able to rent--and I remember how truly blessed we are. It's nice to have reasons to remember where we have come from!
Amen to all that you said. I feel very much the same. How is it fair that we have sacrificed so much while in school to only get a little in return. Bummer, right?? But yes, we do have nice things. Over 10 years I found good deals at Target, Freecycle, Garage sales, or even Craigslist. We are lucky too. Thank you for bringing my attention the direction it should be. I needed that too!
Brittany, I loved this post so much I read it out loud to Quinn, and he loved it too. Very well said. Even getting a job doesn't mean suddenly having the big-screen TV or whatever (at least for us), and that's okay. Awesome reminder about how much we really do have.
you are a good writer! I feel the same as you, you said it nicely!
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