Thursday, September 6, 2012

The start of school




The girls really wanted to go to school this year.  To the actual school, with a teacher that's not me.

Honestly...   it's been really hard.  Part of me was relieved to not have the burden of teaching.  Home schooling is a LOT of work.  I felt like a failure, like we were giving up.  I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.  I even felt rejected, like I wasn't good enough for them as a teacher.  Clearly, some therapy is needed. :)

They have loved it from day one.  They love the school supplies, the routine, the friends, the backpack, the planners, the teachers, the desks and the lockers.  I knew they would, and I am glad they are having this experience.  I miss having them home.  It's hard for me to let them go off and spend the bulk of their day with people I don't know.  It's hard for me to not know what they're doing.  I tell myself that this is the natural way of things, that they need to grow up and have these experiences.

But I'm grumpy about it.

I want to be teaching them!  I really enjoyed it, and I miss doing it.  I might just be romanticizing the experience, but I still really like the idea of home schooling.  I go into their classrooms once a week to help out, and I swear that SO much time is wasted because of class sizes, and the few disruptive kids.  Brighton gets frustrated because she is the model student and just wants to learn, but other people keep talking and interrupting the teacher.  They both LOVE having friends though.  :)  I catch them holding hands with their best buds on their way out to recess.  Brighton and Brooklyn have recess and lunch together, and usually choose to play with each other, along with a mash-up of their friends.

I don't think it's easier on me, having them at school.  I had to rearrange my morning schedule to get them out the door on time.  My two most helpful kids are gone for most of the day.  And I have this false sense of freedom because I only have 3 kids now, so I "should" be able to run errands!  And then I remember that I still have 3 kids.

I'm hoping that they will want to stay home after this year.  But for now, they are having fun and I'm adjusting.

3 comments:

Randy said...

Awww. I'll be they are great students! Funny thing, Randy and I are thinking about home schooling and wanted to get all your input. :) Be expecting an email at some point this year...We need to research.

Benson Fam said...

So did I read there that you are stalking them while they are at school? I'm wondering how one sees them holding hands with friends at recess if not from behind a bush. A little creepy Britt :). I'm glad they love it! And life will feel a whole lot easier. In ten years. When they are all at school :).

Becky said...

Hang in there Mama!
You are a wonderful woman and your kids are so blessed to have you!