So, we started the process of getting a home loan again. Which has taken since October, and is still not ironed out. And we did find a house that we love, although it is at the top of our price range. In fact, we were going to make an offer on it yesterday, but I freaked out and couldn't go through with it. I have serious psychological issues about getting in so much debt. I hate not being able to count on a sure thing! I want to know FOR SURE what the mortgage payments will be, and I really don't like all the unknowns lurking about. Since I've never bought a home, and don't know what to expect.
And it irks me that James is so calm about it. I try to rile him up, believe me. I run through the budget numbers a few times a day, show him how little we'll be able to save a month, run through all these terrible scenarios like his car dying, a freak flood and/or termites. That could all happen at once, you know. And then where would we be? In trouble.
You see my problem. Any home owners that could give me advice? Make me more worried? Calm my fears? Feel free to ring in.
5 comments:
All I can say is that the Lord will provide. If you feel its right go for it!. Things break all the time and we still make it through. No amount of budgeting will prepare you for how much it will really cost. Like upkeep of the yard. I wake up everyday thankful that we have a house no matter if the dishwasher or a/c break.
Buying a house is one of the most stressful and emotional experiences ever. But it's worth it. You need to find a good mortgage person who can out the numbers together for you. They can usually give you an accurate estimate of out-the-door costs.
And, the common advice is that you usually do want to stretch just a little in your purchase. Your income will most likely grow in the coming years. Don't buy more than you can afford, of course, but a little stretch is a benefit in the long run.
Finally, yes. It is a lot of debt. But it's also an investment. Not only is it a place to settle your family, but home prices (normally) steadily raise. It's one of the few debt purchases that will generally sell for more than you spent on it.
Overall, if it is the right thing, you will know. Don't let fear overcome the blessing. Things do come up, but the blessing continue to come as well.
You and I have talked about this before, Brittany, but I think a healthy dose of fear is a good thing. When you're looking at such huge numbers, it's not only hard to quite grasp them, it's hard to take them seriously. You think, "What an extra $100 a month in the mortgage payment if I get the house I really want?" because you're looking at six-figure numbers every day. But when you're living it, that extra $100 makes a huge difference.
For that reason, I kind of disagree with the conventional wisdom about stretching to buy a house. Houses don't always increase in value (my sister in Arizona is underwater by about $60,000), and earnings don't always go up. My advice: be really conservative. Don't buy a house that's going to keep you from saving for retirement and other goals. Heck, don't even buy a house that's going to leave you so house poor that you're worried about groceries and piano lessons, because that just sucks (been there). Especially the first time out, better to buy something that feels really affordable than to buy something that makes your palms sweat.
I agree that house debt is different from, say, credit card debt or even student loan debt. It's an asset that usually builds in value, you get tax savings, you can sell it, blah blah. But renting is NOT a bad thing, and if you're panicked about making the numbers work, find another house and rent for a while longer till James's salary goes up or you save more or just feel in a better place about the house purchase. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but that's my $.02. Or rather, $1.20. : )
We bought a house, or rather, started making payments on one, right! I have had huge moments when I have regretted it so much because of those same scary things. We were pretty conservative, but still ended up buying right before the bubble burst. That really, really stinks. But it did feel right and I keep trying to remind myself of that. I think it always costs more than the biggest estimate ever looks on paper. Going more conservative is on my personal comfort level! But, if it is right, I think it's true, the Lord will provide. And we can't always know before hand what He is planning, but trusting that feeling is so important. I've heard a lot of people say you just know when it's right. That's how we felt. I also wish I would have trusted my husband more. (Then you can blame him for his decision instead of feeling guilt for yours...ha ha ha!)
oh my goodness, those were (and still are) my exact feelings about buying our house. I too try to get Brett revved up about it, but he seems to think everything will just work out. I don't think Brett is naive, I think he has come to understand that he doesn't need to think too much about it or worry because I WILL! He knows I will look into EVERY aspect of it! I LITERALLY cried through signing our mortgage papers because of the thought of so much debt! Everyone kept asking me if I was ok, but I was a blubbering fool the entire time. Before we made an offer, we went to the temple and I felt peace, but I have to tell you that as we moved forward, I did not feel peace and kept questioning what I felt. Its been two years now and I still worry about the "what ifs" and how much money we could save/spend if we didnt have the house. Good luck! Its a hard decision.
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